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81THE ROLE OF THE FAMILY IN SHAPING A CHILD'S PERSONALITY
Dilfuza Xabibullayevna Usmanova Gulirano Abiddinovna Askarkhujaeva
National University of Uzbekistan named after Mirzo Ulugbek
ABSTRACT
The article is about the importance of family upbringing for the formation of the child personality, about family upbringing tactics, their advantages and disadvantages for the formation of the child personality.
Keywords: education, personality, family, dictate, guardianship, noninterference, cooperation.
Noting is the great importance of school in the life of every person, the responsibility of schoolteachers for the upbringing of the younger generation, it is impossible not to emphasize that a decisive role in the formation of the child's personality plays the family [1-6]. The success in the moral education is easier to achieve when there are relationships of love, sincerity and trust in the family. Then the child feels how good it is to live in the world, what a happiness to love and loved, to have faithful friends, how nice to be just a decent person. Therefore, an important goal of the education of the modern younger generation should be the development of the desire to create a strong family, based on the "Russian beginning" associated with the Orthodox worldview.
In the present social situation, the family is experiencing bad times and is not performing its socially determined functions at the proper level [7-12]. The social stratification of society caused by economic and political reforms, the decline in living standards of most families, the destruction of moral norms and values, and the criminalization of society have significantly changed the socio-cultural life of the younger generation and complicated the process of family upbringing of children. The problem of reducing the educational impact of the family, its role in the formation of personality today is particularly relevant. Its relevance is due to the inability of many families to adapt to new conditions, to form protective mechanisms, which leads to disorganization of life, the destruction of established moral and ethical norms and traditions of the family way of life. In this connection, conflict between spouses, parents and children is intensifying, and violence and cruel treatment of children and the elderly increasingly observed in families [13-19]. The social tendency of self-exclusion of many parents from solving the issues of upbringing and personal development of the child has intensified. The number of orphans and social orphans with living parents is increasing. A wide range of mental anomalies and deviations in behavior characterizes children growing up in dysfunctional, conflict families.
The family and the child are mirror images of each other. No one can argue with this. It is with the family begins the development of each of us; there is confidence in themselves, in their abilities and capabilities, the ability to overcome difficulties. Only in a warm, friendly family atmosphere, these qualities emerge. Looking at children, you can tell what their parents are like, what kind of family they grow up in and raised in it.
So what are the functions of the family? Psychotherapist D. Freeman believes that the main functions of the family are the following: ensuring survival, protection of the family from external damaging factors. Care of family members about each other, bringing up children, creating physical, emotional, social and economic prerequisites for individual development of family members, maintaining their close emotional ties with each other, social control over each other's behavior.
In each family objectively a certain, not always conscious, system of upbringing is formed [20-24]. Here we mean both understanding of the purposes and methods of upbringing, and consideration of what may and allowed regarding the child. There may be distinguished four tactics of upbringing in the family and four types of family relations corresponding to them, which are the prerequisite and result of their occurrence: dictate trusteeship, "non-interference" and cooperation.
Diktat in the family manifested in the systematic suppression of parents' initiative and sense of dignity in children. Of course, parents can and should impose requirements on their child, based on the goals of education, standards of morality, specific situations in which it is necessary to make pedagogically and morally justified decisions. However, those of them who prefer orders and violence to all kinds of influence face the resistance of the child, who responds to pressure, coercion, threats with hypocrisy, deception, outbursts of rudeness, and sometimes-outright hatred. However, even if resistance turns out to be broken, along with it there is a breakdown of many of the qualities of personality. Moreover, this is a guarantee of the unsuccessful formation of personality.
Guardianship in the family is a system of relationships in which parents, providing all the needs of the child with their work; shield him from any worries, efforts and difficulties, taking them on themselves. The issue of active formation of personality recedes into the background. Parents, in fact, block the process of seriously preparing their children for reality beyond the threshold of their own home. Such overprotection of the child, excessive control over his or her entire life based on close emotional contact, called hyperopic [25-29]. It leads to passivity, lack of independence, and difficulties in communication. There is also an opposite concept - hypo-pedagogy, which implies a combination of indifferent attitude of parents with a total lack of control. Children can do whatever they want. As a result, when they grow up, they become selfish, cynical people who do not respect anyone, who do not deserve respect, but still require all their whims.
Tactics of "noninterference" can generate the system of interpersonal relations in the family based on recognition of a possibility and even expediency of existence of adults independent of children. Upon that, it is supposed that two worlds can coexist -adults and children, and neither of them should cross the line marked in this way. More often than not, this type of relationship based on the passivity of parents as tutors.
Cooperation, as a type of relationship in the family, implies that interpersonal relations in the family mediated by common goals and objectives of joint activity, its organization and high moral values. It is in this situation the selfish individualism of the child is overcome. The family, where the leading type of relations is cooperation, acquires a special quality, becomes a group of high level of development - a collective.
However, there are as many families as there are variants of upbringing. Depending on this, there is also the formation of personality. Only a person who wants to achieve something in life, who has its own goals and persistently goes to their achievement, can become a personality [30-33]. This is a person with a stable system of norms, values, with strong convictions, as well as their own opinion on every issue, able to defend their point of view. Not everyone becomes a person.
It is very important that the little man raised in a friendly atmosphere that in the process of raising the parents did not have disagreements about the methods of his upbringing, that the child did not witness the conflicts. Otherwise, he could grow into an asocial personality, causing harm not only to those around him, but also to himself. The family is the main source of all the right actions in the life path of an individual, and the eradication of errors in upbringing is possible.
Therefore, the family is the most powerful tool in shaping a child's personality. Life and science have proven that all the troubles of children, and then adults, are due to mistakes of family upbringing, the main of which is the lack of love and the inability to praise and support their children. Therefore, you must always remember that the most important thing for the child loved as he is.
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