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UDC 181.001
Shadinova G. A., Ph.D., Associate Professor Associate Professor of the Department of Social Sciences International Kazakh-Turkish University named H.A. Yasavi
Kazakhstan, Turkestan THE FEAR OF MOTHERHOOD - FAMILY PROBLEM IN MODERN
WOMEN
Abstract: This article examines the fear of motherhood in modern women. Under the fear of motherhood, we understand the complex of rational and emotional experiences of women about the impossibility to realize their desire for motherhood in the concrete conditions of her current life.
Keywords: fear, motherhood, traditional society, women's feeling, birth, career, true destiny.
УДК 181.001
Шадинова Г.А., к.филoc.н.
дoцeнт
кафедра «Общественных наук» Международный казахско-турецкий университет им. Х.А. Ясави
Казахстан, г. Туркестан СТРАХ МАТЕРИНСТВА - СЕМЕЙНАЯ ПРОБЛЕМА У СОВРЕМЕННЫХ ЖЕНЩИН
Аннотация: В этой статье рассматривается страх материнства у современных женщин. Под страхом материнства мы понимаем комплекс рациональных и эмоциональных переживаний женщины по поводу невозможности реализовать свое желание материнства в конкретных условиях ее нынешней жизни.
Ключевые слова: страх, материнство, традиционное общество, женское чувство, рождение, карьера, истинное предназначение.
Motherhood - it is a great blessing of the Creator. Need very gratefully accept it. Today, about the future of human nature already worriedly write philosophers, psychologists and doctors. Rising moral and ethical problems of genetic engineering.
Each woman as a unique individual may itself determine their attitude to motherhood. This theoretically. But if a woman has specific complications, especially if she lives in a time when, thanks to new advances in science
motherhood wittingly or unwittingly is devalued, it can be extremely difficult to find yourself in motherhood. Motherhood - a cultural phenomenon, and its meaning and significance may vary with culture.
Full motherhood implies the preservation of love and affection to the child's father. Absolute switching to baby devalues not only the union of man and woman, but hurts himself motherhood. Child - the result of marriage, parenthood, love.
Every woman is a carrier of the parent potential as a biological and social unit, as well as a unique subject, past its unique way at all stages of development need-motivational sphere of motherhood. Motherhood really determines the content of the parent positions depending on the physical well-being of women and specific socio-psychological conditions. While value-sense orientation to motherhood are the most of sensitivity to life circumstances and prospects [1].
In traditional society, a woman from an early age prepared for motherhood, she married early and fourteen or fifteen years became a mom. Now women are increasingly seeking to have children as late as possible - when conquered certain position in society and achieved prosperity. In this situation, motherhood becomes a separate activity for women, which still need to adapt. Suppose a child is waiting for a business woman - a woman who considers herself a competent, an important figure in society. But the experience of motherhood with her there. For her to feel weak, be a pupil - a catastrophe, and that is how it can perceive their motherhood. Hence, there is a certain ambivalence: a woman wants to be a mother, but not of their own needs, but rather, because of social attitudes that exist in society, due to pressure from her husband and parents. After the birth she had not awakened interest in the child, the desire to communicate with him, but she does not know how to do it. Such a woman because of their social status will not throw the baby to fend for themselves, but delegates its powers to third parties (the grandmother, nanny or someone else). Thus, it avoids the need to constantly interact with the child. The reason for her behavior is covered in the fear of motherhood [2].
In addition, the birth of a child does not stop the rest of life. Remains housework, husband, mother in law ... And often the work, study. All that we want to save, and even to "the highest level". And what if it is impossible to avoid a temporary separation from the child? It is said that the child unites family, brings into life a new meaning. And we only have new concerns and anxieties, and instead of closeness is growing irritation and mutual claim. Why is that? Can this be fixed? And there is still such a thing as postpartum depression. This do not even treat drugs. And, indeed, symptoms disappear. But the reasons that caused this depression remain. They may later affect the other - on establishing the relationship between mother and child, and his mental development [3].
Fear of motherhood manifested in women's reluctance to bring first or next child - because of the psychological, social, economic or other reasons. This phenomenon can also be called the reluctance of motherhood, awareness barriers to motherhood, objective unwillingness to motherhood. The expression "fear of motherhood", in our opinion, has a pronounced emotional coloring showing
women's personal attitude to this problem. Fear of motherhood can be realized or not realized by a woman, and expressed as mild, moderate, or severe form. Fear of motherhood can be rationalized and justified by woman. As a rule, it is associated with feelings of regret about the impossibility of motherhood, but not with the experience of shame. Often it finds justification in the criticism of social policy that does not allow women to realize the plans of motherhood.
Causes of fear of motherhood are varied. The main reasons for the economic order are the following: the lack of their own homes, the lack of living space for the birth of a second or third child, living with relatives, the need to care for sick and elderly relatives, limited livelihood, lack of money and other. They also include the reluctance of women to interruptsuccessfully evolving career, professional growth, fear of loss of employment, qualifications, skills, fear of falling behind colleagues in professional development and become uncompetitive in the dynamic labor market. Noneconomic reasons for of fear of motherhood - is the lack of a partner, unmarried status and, as a consequence, the reluctance to give birth to an illegitimate child, the uncertainty in the current partner, partner's reluctance to have a child age on the verge of the upper limit of fertility, birth of a disabled child fear, fear of physical pain, fear of collision with domestic medicine, fear not to have time to put the child on his feet, give him a good education, fear of having to educate the boy in the current living conditions, etc. Sometimes doctors, psychologists and Estheticians give such reasons of fear of motherhood, as women fear to gain weight, losing fitness and sexuality in front of her husband or partner. Consider how these factors are manifested in the lives of different women.
Islam - an ideology that helps humanity to avoid many of the problems that modern man stands face to face. After all, the Creator not only created and threw us into this world, but He sent instructions on using this life - the Koran. According to Islam a woman, especially a wife and mother. Grow a healthy generation and create a favorable, heavenly atmosphere at home can not be regarded as "idleness".
In Islam, respect for mother and motherhood values are inseparable. Qur'an puts kindness to parents in the first place immediately after worship to God Almighty: "And the Lord commanded you, that you worship none but Him, and show a good attitude to parents. If reaches the age old one of the parents or both, do not say angry with them, do not grumble at them and address them with respect. Overshadowing their whit wing of merciful humility and say: "O Lord! Have mercy on them [because they were nice to me] when raised me as a child"
[4].
Among the few precepts of Islam, which Muslims adhere strictly to this day - a special relationship to the mother. Respect that Muslims treat their mothers well known. Particularly warm relations between Muslim mother and her children and the deep respect that Muslim men are showing their mothers, affect people in the West.
According to the poll, the most important reason why the Russians refuse to
give birth to the second and third child - the fear of poverty. The greatest concern to Russian parents inspires expensive education and medicine. But at Muslim women crisis will not discourage to have as many children. "Islam encourages motherhood and therefore Muslim women are not afraid to have children, not relying on the government, but to the Lord. After all, its purpose - the pleasure of Allah and the desire to get closer to Him, and reproduction of offspring born - one of the most beautiful and natural way to do it. As Allah says in the Quran: "Wealth and children - an ornament of life here" [4]».
Modern woman strives to achieve a decent position in society, and only then begins to think about the birth of the child. And it often happens that a child becomes a hindrance to reaching new career heights. Opinion polls show that if a woman after giving birth is manage to find a decent job, then, as a rule, the earnings in the new job is considerably inferior, and in society is not held in high esteem, women are giving birth to a child barely seek immediately go to work, but there and those for whom personal career and child are equal and then young mothers looking for a nanny for their child was not deprived of the attention, while they themselves are given to work with the head. But for child nothing replaces the mom, and a lack of petting may eventually develop into many complexes that will forever affect the fate of the baby. There are cases when after giving birth women worldview changed radically, and she begins to understand that motherhood is her true destiny.
Thus, motherhood, the family has been and remains one of the basic constants in the lives of women by giving them in this world of anxiety and insecurity as a feeling of support, protection, satisfaction, and a constant concern for the future of children, responsible for the normal course of social life and the world.
References:
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2. Lantsburg M.E. :"On the application of existential humanistic approach in psychological counseling of pregnant women and new parents." / / "Perinatal Psychology and Psychology of parenthood." Supplement to the journal. "Psychologist in kindergarten." - Moscow, 2003. - 56 p.
3. G.G. Filippova. "Psychology of motherhood: Conceptualize." Model. - M.: Institute of Youth, 1999. - 286 p.
4. E. Guliyev "Quran". - Almaty: Albarakat, 2011. - 324 p.