CC BY
3
УДК 37.013.2
Gunba D.A. the 3rd course student Abkhazian State University Sukhum, Republic of Abkhazia THE CUSTOM OF AVOIDANCE BETWEEN PARENTS, CHILDREN
AND RELATIVES IN ABKHAZIA
Abstract: Within the study course "Ethnopedagogical traditions of the Abkhaz folk upbringing" the article discusses the custom of avoidance between parents, children and relatives in Abkhazia. The author claims that the custom was and remains one of the most followed.
Keywords: Abkhazia, Abkhazian people, the Republic of Abkhazia, the custom of avoidance, parents, children and relatives.
Abkhazia is a small but distinctive state that has preserved its culture and traditions from the depths of centuries.
Customs and traditions are an integral part of the historically developed culture of a particular people. They affect all aspects of the life of society without exception: the relationship of people, the relationship of man to society, to work, to the family, to other peoples, etc.
An Abkhaz family continues to be the social cell where traditional etiquette is preserved most fully and consistently, especially in those families where the elder members of the family live [4].
A special place in the personal relations of the family, and at the same time family-related groups, was occupied by a set of ancient prohibitions known as "avoidance customs" or "restrictive relations".
Under avoidances in ethnographic literature, it is customary to understand the totality of various prohibitions observed by spouses against each other, their children and certain categories of relatives and relatives. In order to clarify the essence of the institution of avoidance, let us single out its main classifications:
Between the numerous customs of avoidance, there were two main classifications. At the heart of one is the object of avoidance: prohibitions to be together, to eat together, talk to each other, pronounce personal names etc. The second distinguishes avoided persons: avoidance between spouses, between parents and children, between the wife and relatives of the husband, between the husband and the wife's relatives. Ya.S. Smirnova identifies four subsystems of avoidance: two of them limited the relationship between spouses and between parents and children, two relationships between each of the spouses [3]. We will add another kind of avoidance - between a bride and a groom.
Until now, customs of avoidance have been preserved, more stringent in Bzyb Abkhazia (Gudauta district) and less strict in Abzhu Abkhazia (Ochamchira district).
As it is known, these customs, to a large extent, relate primarily to the daughter-in-law who came to a new family [4].
Avoidance between young people began with the moment when they were officially declared as a bride and a groom, immediately after the matchmaking. A young man (already the son-in-law) from this day began to avoid the future relatives of his wife, as well as older men from the father-in-law's kind. He did not even have to walk along the street where they lived and if he happened to ride on horseback, then, approaching the house of one or another relative of the girl, he descended from the horse as a sign of respect. Passing this house, and after walking a further distance on foot, he again sat on a horse and rode on.
A bride had to follow the same rules. Researcher of the Caucasus traditions N.F. Takova, notes: "The girl should not have walked along the street where the groom's house was; if it was inevitable, then she passed in the crowd of girlfriends, putting down the handkerchief, trying to be unrecognized" [3].
It was considered reprehensible that one of the spouses, especially the husband, in someone's presence took care of another spouse or even just talked about him or her. They could not call each other "husband" and "wife", and also by name. Instead, they said "he", "she" "our master" and so on. Violation of these prohibitions was particularly unacceptable with the elders, in particular the elder relatives, in the presence of whom the customs of avoidance, as a rule, were observed even by the elderly couple.
Nevertheless, to the daughter-in-law who observes these customs, are very respectful, believing that she thereby shows her "respect" to the elders.
It should be noted that the observance of these customs largely depends on the age of the father-in-law and the older relatives with whom the young live, from the local identity - the degree of preservation of these customs in the village, township, in a particular family.
At present, the daughter-in-law with her mother-in-law begins to talk almost immediately after the wedding. With regard to the father-in-law, in most cases the colloquial ban is at least observed for some time (in the Gudauta district - often throughout the year, and sometimes even for many years and decades). If the brother-in-law is older than the daughter-in-law for two or four years, the daughter-in-law can begin to talk with him if he asks for it. However, he must be very persistent, so she spoke to him. Immediately agree with the proposal of the brother-in-law is considered "indecent". If the brother-in-law is more than ten years old, the daughter-in-law does not talk to him for a long time. With sister-in-law, even those who are older than her by age, the daughter-in-law, as a rule, should no longer observe the prohibition of speaking.
After a certain period (usually on the initiative of a father-in-law), the bull is slaughtered (or a more modest treat is arranged), close relatives are collected, after which the father-in-law and daughter-in-law begin talking to each other. The daughter-in-law, as a rule, observes a colloquial prohibition and in relation to the senior neighbors - men of the quarter, as informants speak, "hesitate to talk with them".
To a lesser extent, avoidance traditions affect the relationship of a man and his wife's parents, although in some cases there is also a collision between them
for a while.
The origin of avoidance is explained by the conditions of the existence of a large patriarchal family community, where all children were considered common and the manifestation of parental feelings for their children was not allowed [2].
Avoidance rules restrict the communication of fathers and children, make it extremely restrained, severe, excluding tenderness. The etiquette of the Abkhazians demanded that, with outsiders, and especially in the elders, the father did not take the child in his arms, "did not play with him, talked to him, and did not show any feelings towards him" [5, pp. 14].
It is also necessary to note the following circumstance, which is not always mentioned in the study of this issue, namely, demonstration of a respectful attitude not only from the younger ones towards the elders, but also from the elders in relation to the younger ones [1]. So, according to the informant from the village of Chloe. When the daughter-in-law gives something to the elder brother-in-law (with whom she does not speak), he always stands up as a sign of respect.
In the village of Lykhny, a 75-year-old man told that five or six young daughters-in-law live next door to them, who (like his own daughter-in-law) do not speak to him. When they come to his house. He usually tries to go somewhere (in the garden, or relax, lie down) - so as not to embarrass women, so that they "sit quietly".
Modern youth is surprised to hear the stories of older women that in the 1950s and 1960s the daughter-in-law could not go to bed before the older members of the family. During the feast, she had to stand on her feet with a jug of wine (she had no right even to put it).
The described tradition was determined by the moral code that existed among the Abkhazians, which denoted not only the system of rules and norms of behavior, but also volitional qualities, emotions, feelings connected with observance of decency in deeds and in relations between people, consecrated by customs and ethnic law. The latter demanded the upbringing of children in the spirit of love for the fatherland, their people, parents, friendship and respect for other peoples.
References:
1. Анкваб М.Ф. Абхазская этнопедагогика: историко-культурный аспект: Монография / Москва, 2017. - 300 c.
2. Анкваб М.Ф. Этнопедагогика абхазской семьи: Учебное пособие / Москва, 2017. (2-е издание). - 78 c.
3. Бузоева З.С. Проблемы семейного воспитания в прогрессивно-демократической педагогике народов Северного Кавказа (XYIII-начало XX в. : диссертация ... кандидата педагогических наук : 13.00.01, Владикавказ, 2002.
4. Соловьёва Л.Т. Семейные и фамильные традиции в современной Абхазии - Алашара, 1989. С. 32-35.
5. Тюгашев Е.А., Попкова Т.В. Семьеведение: Учебное пособие. -Новосибирск: СибУПК, 2003.
